something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
