so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
