So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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