"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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