I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
