i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
