I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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