i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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