and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
