its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
