Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
