oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
