I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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