I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize