whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
