ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
