Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
