Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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