It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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