Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
it's like heaven, but drunker
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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