U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
