He asked to "fluff my boner.."
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize