Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
