One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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