you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
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Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
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A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize