Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina" http://tfl.nu/xi2d
  Replies (19) Good night (2870) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.

  (951): View more from California

  That's the thing about women.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff. (951): That's the thing about women. http://tfl.nu/3r0z
  Replies (6) Good night (838) Bad night (2494)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game. http://tfl.nu/3l6w
  Replies (9) Good night (4956) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me http://tfl.nu/kwsp
  Replies (9) Good night (7596) Bad night (1319)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b. http://tfl.nu/l3kw
  Replies (14) Good night (2663) Bad night (1154)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL http://tfl.nu/gjdn
  Replies (15) Good night (1170) Bad night (3814)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming http://tfl.nu/8wbb
  Replies (4) Good night (2098) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls. http://tfl.nu/h774
  Replies (2) Good night (1380) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair http://tfl.nu/3k67
  Replies (3) Good night (1031) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room http://tfl.nu/4z49
  Replies (9) Good night (2244) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT http://tfl.nu/hvg7
  Replies (6) Good night (1499) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know. (615): My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens. http://tfl.nu/91vw
  Replies (10) Good night (1882) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless. http://tfl.nu/wul6
  Replies (6) Good night (909) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas." http://tfl.nu/unt9
  Replies (5) Good night (1099) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop http://tfl.nu/0zhw
  Replies (1) Good night (486) Bad night (289)

Randomize