I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.