Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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