Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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