i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.