I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
