I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
