Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
