her vagine was all disorganized.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I cut my penus on the lid.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
