im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
