the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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