Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
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He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
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red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize