i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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