just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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