i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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