So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
