My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
