he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
