sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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