what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
