Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
