She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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