Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
How's work?
Spinning.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
