you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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