you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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