i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
