I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
