You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
