you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize