Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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