My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
