i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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