Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize