My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
