maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
