I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
