Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
