At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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