honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
