Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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