I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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