I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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